Still Family
by tinycandi2000
Summary: Fin & Olivia talk. PostHaunted.


Title: Still Family  
Author: tiny  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Fin & Olivia talk. Post-Haunted.

Spoilers: Haunted  
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah…not mine.  
A/N: Just a short 1 chapter little thing that takes place after Haunted.

* * *

Fin woke up to find himself on the couch. He couldn't recall what time he dozed off, but the room had completely darkened now and all he could see was the blinking clock on the VCR. He shook his head and rubbed his face. He stood up slowly as he prepared to maneuver through the house in the dark.

He heard a soft knock at the door. It was so faint he wasn't sure if it was real or if he had imagined it. When the knock came again, he turned toward the noise. He fumbled in the dark as he made his way to the door, hitting his shin on the coffee table in the midst of his attempt. His reaction was loud and offensive.

"Fin, are you alright?" called a familiar woman's voice from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, just a minute," he called back as he searched for the light switch. He took a quick glance around the room and decided it was safe enough for her to come in. He kicked a pair of dirty socks under the couch and continued to the door. He unbolted the lock and opened the door to find himself faced with Olivia Benson.

"Hey," Fin said with a smile. "What are you doing here?"

"If I'm interrupting anything I can go…"she said, turning away.

"Nah you're fine," he said as he reached out for her arm to keep her from leaving. "I was just crashed on the couch. Come on in." He held the door open for her and stepped aside as she walked into the apartment. She looked uneasy and troubled. "You want a drink or something?" he asked.

"No, I'm good. Thanks," she replied as she ran a shaky hand through her hair.

Fin went back to the couch and sat down. He motioned for her to join him. She sat dawn and rested her elbows on her knees. Instead of looking at him, Olivia watched her hands as she fidgeted with her ring. She had come to talk to him, but realized she really didn't know what to say.

"So…you gonna tell me what's wrong?" he urged. She gave a weak smile but didn't say anything. He had a pretty good guess as far as what was bothering her. "Liv, it's not your fault. You know that."

Olivia shrugged. "But I was supposed to have your back. I didn't even see them go in…I wasn't paying attention," she said in protest. "I didn't have any idea what was going on until I heard the gunfire." Olivia shook her head as she recalled the sound of the shots firing one after the other. She closed her eyes and could still see Fin sitting against the shelf; his blood seeping onto her hands.

"Even if you would've seen 'em go in, how the hell were you supposed to know what they were going to do? You couldn't have known they were packin.'"

"I just keep thinking of everything I could have done differently…"

"Me too," he interrupted. "I should have had those kids before they shot the bodega guy."

"You did everything you could," she replied.

"So did you," Fin said with a smile. She responded with a small grin of her own. "You gotta stop beatin' yourself up over it, Liv. I'm fine."

She nodded. "What about your son? How is he?" she asked. Olivia had noticed that Ken left the hospital not long after she took him there. Fin drew in a deep breath and his face took on a serious expression.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to…" she started.

"Nah, it's okay," he interrupted. "Ken's doing fine. We really didn't talk much. He didn't wanna stay long."

Olivia was quiet. She didn't want to pry and felt like she was meddling into Fin's business. They had worked some cases together and occasionally she would go out for drinks with the guys after work, but she'd never really gotten to know Fin on a more personal level. She wasn't sure if there were any boundaries there, and she didn't want to find out by crossing them.

Fin could tell Olivia felt awkward with the conversation; he felt slightly uncomfortable as well. Regardless, he found that it was nice having someone to talk to, for once. And if he was going to open up to someone, Olivia was one of the most understanding and compassionate people he had ever known.

"I was never around when he was growin' up," he started as he stared across the room at nothing in particular. "Workin' undercover, I'd be gone for months at a time. I was so focused on the job that I neglected my family. I try to call him every once in awhile, but there's usually just a lotta silence."

Olivia rested her hand on his arm and gave him a sympathetic smile. Fin covered her hand with his and gave it a slight squeeze.

"After seeing Ken, I started thinking about how I could lose him without even knowing it, just like Sandra Knowles lost Trisha. For five years she didn't have any idea what was going on. Then Trisha died before her mother could see her again. I guess that's why I needed to make it right. Sure I felt guilty about not helping Trisha, but I felt even more guilty for not being there for my own son. I don't want to lose Ken like that, but I don't think he cares."

"He's still fairly young, he'll come around one of these days," she offered.

"I don't know." Fin shrugged. "I've never given him any reason to depend on me. I was never there before, and I'm still not there for him like I should be," he said.

Olivia nodded, unsure of what she could offer to the conversation. Never having been a parent herself, she felt unqualified to give him advice. Fin didn't need any words though. After everything that had happened, just the fact that his apartment felt a little less empty was enough for him. He stood and paced across the room, lost in his own thoughts. He stopped at the window and gazed outside into the darkness.

Olivia's mind wandered through certain events of her own life. She thought back to her mother. They had never truly mended the broken road between them. Now that she was all alone, Olivia realized just how much it meant to have a family. No matter how many times Serena may have let her down or how many times she wasn't there, she was still family.

"It takes time. Don't give up on him."


End file.
